And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
