Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
