I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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