We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Randomize
