i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
