RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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