Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
