..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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