i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
