I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
