She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
