When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
So vagazzling was a success
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
