I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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