I accidentally had phone sex last night
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize
