Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
