You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
