Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
he fucked my hip out of place.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
