This house was built for laser tag.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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