btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Randomize
