I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Congratulations! We have a period
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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