So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
