Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Randomize
