so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
