i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
