Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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