she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
