people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
