its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
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