I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Randomize
