yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize