another moral hangover. fuck.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
