I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
