Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
