The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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