I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
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