Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
