You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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