Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
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