I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
