she was so not down for the gang bang
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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