just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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