She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
