This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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