i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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