'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
