Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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