Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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