A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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