Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
my god I love twenty year old dicks
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
