That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
