I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
