i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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