Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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