I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
